Adult Life - Beginning

1:14 PM

"Dream job adalah pekerjaan di mana saya tidak lagi bekerja dengan berorientasi pada uang. Di mana saya tidak lagi bekerja untuk mendapatkan uang, atau membayar tagihan, atau membeli barang. Melainkan di mana saya bekerja hanya untuk kepuasan diri. Uang hanyalah reward yang mengikutinya."

It's been 5 months since I graduated from university. As you can tell in my previous post, I'm now an intern in a company. Little did you know, I just realized that I don't enjoy working in this field.

To be honest, I'm so grateful that I didn't get accepted in (a full-time job on) any of the companies that I applied earlier before this internship. Why? Because if I got accepted, I would definitely resign in the first months, knowing that I'm not into the job description. And I don't like to be that person, the one that resign in a couple months. It's gonna look like that I'm not able to handle the job. And it's gonna look like that I don't know about myself really well. Long story short, I'm so grateful.

But one think you need to know: I. Really. Don't. Enjoy. This.

Since I was in university, I know that my passion would be in clinical psychology. I always want to be a psychologist.

There are some minor in Psychology; which are Clinical, Industrial/Organizational (I/O), Education/Training, Developmental, and Social. And you know that I love Psychology, but if there is one thing that I don't like about Psychology, it's I/O. Not sure why, but it's never been my preferences. Since I was younger, I never ever imagined myself working in an office, with formal clothes, working from 9 AM to 6 PM everyday. I'm just never interested to work for someone's (or some company's) benefit. With no disrespect with people who find their passion to work in an office though (almost all my family work in an office kok ). But it's just not my thing.

I always think that I would work as a psychologist. I'll have my own clinic near my house, and I won't have a strict working hours everyday. I'll work if I have clients (just like doctors when they have patients only). I don't have to wear formal office clothes, only something comfortable to wear but still presentable to people. I just love helping people in real needs. I love fixing things.

I also love animals. I love helping animals life. I also have a dream that I'll open a cat shelter near my clinic. So when I have clients with problems (like relationship/social problems), maybe I can suggest them to adopt one of the cats in my shelter (of course if they're qualified to adopt them). It's a win-win solution for both sides! Everyone's happy!

Also, I know that some psychologist don't always have schedule with clients everyday, so I'll have more free time than other adults. That's why I also want to be an entrepreneur. I want to have my own business. When I was younger, I wanted to open a pet shop. As I grew up, I wanted to have a bigger pet shop, which is pet department store or pet store. But right now, I know I want to have a pet boutique and a pet hotel, specifically in cat. FYI: I'm currently working on my bowtie for cats online shop ☺.

All of that above, that's been my dream job until now.

When I was still a university student, I have high hope that I'll reach my dream smoothly. But going through my study, I realized that my family cannot afford my master study immediately (because I need to study master-profession in order to be a psychologist). Since then, I know that I need to work other jobs (than my dream job) in order to have my dream job.

But the interesting part is, if you have a bachelor degree in psychology, mostly the job opportunity that is out there is Human Resources. Looking at my family's condition, I knew that I need to work in that field, just because I thought I/O field can give big income which I can use to save money for my master degree. I do want to work in clinical field, like to be an psychologist assistant or something, but there's not much opportunity in that filed compared to I/O area. And I don't think clinical field for bachelor degree can pay me enough money to save for my master degree.. and that's the dilemma.

That's the dilemma of most of my friends who also have preference in clinical and don't have any access to the vacancy in clinical.

And I'm so sad.

I think I'm a pretty positive and grateful person. But when you have to work everyday, 9-6, 2 hours each trip (go out & go home), in a job you don't really like: no, I'm not strong enough.

It's like there's something heavy inside me that prevent me to go out each morning. I'm not happy. I sigh hard each and every time. And this is the first time that I feel such feeling.

The only thing that keeps me going is the salary. Yes, for a not-money-oriented person, I'm so money-oriented with this job. I know that I need money, so I try to find reasons to stay focus on my internship. Which is: money.

So, ya..

I'm still reaching on my dream job.

I'm still trying to find the right path to get it. And I know it won't be as smooth as what I thought it would be.

I just wanna say, if you already find the job that you love, that you passionate about: please be grateful. There are people out there who aren't as lucky as you.  Please love your job. Do the best you can. You'll never know how it feels to work on something you hate.

This might sound a bit overreacting, but I do feel so tortured doing things that I'm not passionate at. And right now, writing is probably the only thing that can give me a little relief from my stress.

Really wish you can share something with your experience in finding the perfect jobs. Just let me know in the comment section below.

Thank you!

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  1. I know you'll get there, sweetheart. You can, and you will. Keep going! XOXO

    1. I know! I'll do my best. Thank's for always supporting ♥


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