Mark of My Freedom

12:32 AM


I got a tattoo.

I finally got my first tattoo.

"What the fuck is that?" you asked? Well, I tatted myself, that's why.

Y'all know that I love tattoo and I always want one. A couple months ago I was actually really craving to get one that I started to do some research on some good and recommended tattoo artists around my area.

At the time, I listed down what kind of tattoos I wanted and where I wanted them to be tatted on. Since my problem with getting tatted is because of how my surroundings forbid me to have one (religion, family, friends, etc); I decided that I want my first tattoo to represent the liberty of all that pulling me back and holding me back for doing what I want.

I once really wanted the 'breaking chain' tattoo to represent it. Placed above my crease on my left hand. Just a simple only-line-and-doodly chain tattoo.

A few days ago, my boss and I started to talk about her tattoo and how she wanted to get more. That was the first time I had a tattoo conversation with people who actually have tattoos; so I was kinda super excited. At that time, I started to second guess my first tattoo design; I had a thought that it would be something that 'so me' and I love dearly; which was raining (cloud and rain) tattoo or cat tattoo.

Long story short, we decided that we would come to this hand poke tattoo workshop by the local hand poke artist; which has the theme of "Self Poke", where you basically will tattoo yourself. And boy I was hella excited......

For your reminder, even thought I decided that I want to follow my interest in getting a tattoo (which is forbidden), I still wanted them no to be too recognizable to other people. I still want my family to accept me, okay..

The day before the workshop, I doodled many kind of drawings that I might use the next day to tattoo myself, and I decided that I'd go with the door tattoo; either 'closed door' or 'opened door to nowhere'; and would be placed on my left ankle. But then the more I thought about it, the more I realized that since I would tattoo myself, I wasn't sure whether I was capable of doing it or not; so I ended didn't really think about it.

And then there came the D-day.

At the workshop, the artist asked me where I would put my tattoo on for this tutorial, as he was giving example on his knee. "Damn this man casually draw permanent stuff on his skin.." So fuck it I decided that I'd go on my left wrist instead. I didn't really care about how people would react if they saw it. I'd do what I want.

At the end, as you can see, my first piece of tattoo is just some inconsistent dots and wonky lines & curves. But I tatted this all by myself. My first tattoo. All by myself.

Yes, it doesn't look good and it's far from my ideal first tattoo, but all it leaves me is actually the feeling of satisfaction that I finally be brave enough to do something that others might judge me for doing it. This might looks meaningless to other people, but this means a lot to me. This is my mark of freedom.

I love this.

You heard me? I love this tattoo.

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